Shark, Jacque Shark May 22, 2008

We finally made it out for one of our handful of date nights for 2008. I think it was the first official one for 2008 and we’ve been looking forward to trying a French bistro that opened near us by some people that we know.

We went w/our neighbors who we always have the most amazing dinners with…at their house, our house, or their mom’s house. We are all of Italian background and restaurant backgrounds and like to eat…alot and alot of GOOD food. So it’s hard to please us when we’re out.  But we tried and it started OK. I ordered the escargots appetizer and it was not as I’ve ever had it. I love when they are in those yummy, buttery pastries…it is the only way I think I can eat escargots. This was swimming in a garlic oil. You couldn’t even see the little suckers they were so deep in the green, cloudy concoction.  My friend’s dish was not much better. Goat cheese crostini w/a salad…soggy crostini-it was just not right. Crostini have to be crunchy and the salad was boring…just lettuce. Next, my duck confit dish. A duck quarter that was just that …no sweet little sauce or something to take away the strong duck flavor. Half the dish was covered w/frisee’ salad and a very smooshed potato kind of pancake. Around my last bite (I was hungry)we received a round of limoncellos from a customer that dines at my hubbies’ restaurant…and he was on a date.  The rest of the dishes were all mediocre and I won’t waste time to write about all of them…
I think I mentioned before, we never get out and when we do…something funny always happens. So we finished our desserts and they were pretty good. Except the creme brulee’ was about an 1/8 inch thick…but had good flavor.

We walked over to our limoncello friend to say our thank you’s and we met his friend and he said: “I’m Jacque…” well, we were in a French bistro, so I thought I heard him say “Jacque” but he repeated it twice and it was Shark. And we all had to hear this story. Well, he had on one of those sort of wet suit type shirts that looked just like the SPF swim shirt I got my 2yr old at Costco the other day. And some sort of surfer type pants and a surfer type hair cut and jewerly…and he explained how he was bit by a shark on his little toe (he also mentioned he’s a surfer, professional swimmer and some other things tha thad to do w/the beach-maybe pro beach volleyball player-I can’t remember… I was too distracted by his TATTOO of sharks!) and then he lifted up the back of his shirt to show us his ginormous tattoo. 2 sharks surrounded by a circle of all the astrology symbols. We all were just kind of looking at it and I was wondering why he would show us that in the middle of a French bistro-even one of the managers was tempted to saunder over to see his tattoo that he was so proud of.  I think I needed another limoncello to fully appreciate Shark’s tattoo and story but God, it gave us a giggle.

Well, we soon were walking on our main downtown street that has tried and tried for a revival and it has not happened. We came across a club that just recently opened but was closed and peaked in to have a look. Actually, our neighbor saw the lights on and opened the door and said “let’s see if they let us in.” The owner or maybe manager or maybe he’s both was at first a little skeptical of our barging in but I think he quickly realized we weren’t hoodlems…just a double date of people that never get out and want to see what a real club looks like b/c it’s been years and we’ve all forgotten for sure. It looked nice. I used to go there in the 90’s and I’ve never seen it in full light. I’ve only seen it always very dark and smokey and it was usually the last stop of the evening and always the worst stop. So it was funny years later to see this old hangout of mine new and bright and empty. The owner/manager was explaining how it’s an “upscale adult club” and he repeated it a few times and mentioned how there are always dancers and we couldn’t figure out if they were paid dancers like at a strip club or clubgoers that just get tanked and jump on the bar to do a jiggy…or both. But he really wanted us to know that it was an “upscale adult club” and said: “you know how you know that you are in a nice club? by their bathrooms.” I swear, I thought he said BOTTLES. I think I need my ears checked or it was his Spanish accent. But there we were following him to check out his bathrooms. And I think as far I remember…they were the nicest bathrooms I’ve seen in a club.  Although I honestly have no recollection of the design of any club bathroom I’ve ever frequented.  We were all sober and very impressed and promised to come visit his upscale adult club and very nice bathrooms and take him up on his offer of a free round of drinks. Now if I could find the energy to make it one night til 10PM when their doors open-we could mabye see what it looks like in the dark and filled w/people and dancers…upscale adult dancers…on the bar, of course.

Why do I always cry?American Idol Finale’ May 22, 2008

It never fails…I try to hold back my tears and again, I caved, w/my chihuahua as my witness (I almost pulled my shoulder lifting him onto the couch-mom, I know you’re reading this-easy on the treats!!!)

DAVID COOK! I always tried to vote for him when I would remember-and Syesha…I really liked Syesha. And I did like David Archuleta…but David Cook rocked. And I voted last night and even got through…4 times! Maybe my vote really did count? And Simon Cowell apologized for being disrepectful. He was, I thought, a little too harsh on David Cook…but maybe he was doing it to get a reverse reaction and get people pissed off and to vote more for David Cook. I think Simon Cowell revels in the power he has over voters…it worked for me b/c it made me stay up an extra hour to try to vote for Cook! Well, I showed you Cowell!

Poop Piles…First Grader Perspective May 17, 2008

As I mention on my quick “about” section…poop occupies the top two positions on my current “my tiny piles” list.

So here’s a quick poop story. My daughter has never pooped at school. She refuses to b/c the bathrooms always smell stinky and she’d rather be stubborn and wait til she gets home. The other day she told me she went into a bathroom (for number one only)and the person before had not flushed their poop and pee-ewwwww! Her thought on this yucky misfortune that she caught a glimpse of was “mommy, I think whoever did it left it for us to see how gross it is.” Yes, indeedy, I would have to agree-GROSS! People (big and small)…I implore you: FLUSH your piles!

The Phone Call… May 16, 2008

heart racing…head pounding…stomach aching. I had to make it today-the return phone call to the one that last phoned ripping me a new one. will share pieces of the conversation…it went sort of like this:

conversation about my then almost 2 year old son’s impending birthday:
me: “hi, we’re doing the cake tomorrow around 5…”

her: “we have a party to go to and we can drop the kids off…the baby sitter can come too and then bring them home if that works for you”

me: “ok, sure (completing blanking out and forgetting my older child’s basketball ceremony is also that night…and this quick get together was going to be just that, a quick get together-my brain is spinning, I hear her planning, waiting, wanting me to react…)

her: “we’ll definitely be there after work and bring the kids, if you don’t mind , we’ll have the sitter bring them home”
me: (my queue-second chance-I jump off the ledge…)”actually, if you don’t mind, I’ll drop them off (flake again to mention it will be a super quick “here’s your cake, don’t eat the candles, say cheese,we have to GO!” kind of “party” )it’s a small get together and it’s just family.”
my honesty, not going very well-

her: “well, we had to schedule her in and why would we pay her to stay at home while the kids our at your house”

me: ” I understand and am sorry I always do this and plan things at the last minute and it’s ok if you guys can’t make it…” cut off at this point and didn’t get to finish my last thought…damn! It would’ve been something like this: “don’t worry, if you can’t all make it tomorrow, we’ll schedule it another day this coming week or weekend. He wont’ know the difference what day it is”

her screaming: “now you’re talking like a crazy person…listen to yourself!!! of course we want to come!!!! you always do this …(more angry comments)
me shaking and say politely: “I have to go…bye”
cell phone rings

her long message to me went something like this yelling: “it’s about time you take responsibility for your actions and take control of your life (other” it’s about time”suggestions)…I know you won’t call me back and actually, don’t bother b/c I don’t even want to talk to you!!!!!!”

thump thump thump went my heart and my hands were shaking.

The rest I have blocked out and thankfully, AT&T has automatically erased the message.

I have a Sicilian father. His most important things are:
1)respect

2)honesty

3)paying cash

4)a “united” family

This is a quick list and will one day update it a little more accurately, but you can get the picture…

It’s Mother’s day and we’re planning lunch.  To explain a little better why there was not a big “event” for my baby’s birthday…it’s not that it was not one of the most important days in the world. And I do plan things occassionally. Usually, totally last minute. I hate to be “booked” and tied down to something and w/my husband’s occupation…the only big things we plan is our once a year 2 week family vacation to visit his parents. Thus, the birthday party was very impromptu…if daddy (my DH)was not going to be there on the actual date, it would have been pushed up to the day he could be there. The baby would’ve never known the difference…and we still would’ve had the most important part: the best cake in the world!

Back to Mother’s Day…I get the call and invite my dad to join us for a sort of planned brunch.

my dad:” your brother called and invited me.  I will come to join you if we all go together. (warning: sicilian guilt trip full speed ahead…almost, or if not as bad as a jewish guilt trip) I want you to come with us or I won’t come up to visit you.”
awkward situation and even more awkward pause.

You see, I would have to go and (my heart starts racing)be w/ “her” after the mildy aggressive message. Almost 2 months have passed without any contact and my heart wasn’t in it…not even for my dad (definite mild guilt trip but it was mild). So, I declined.

Well, it didn’t end there. My cell phone is ringing and it’s “her” and it was a polite message w/Mother’s Day wishes and “we have to get together and talk” ending. Talk. Talk…I’m out of words for “her” at the moment. It has been about 9 years of this volatile relationship. Since the birth of our children I’ve taken a what I feel has been a passive stance and have chosen to let her take charge …that is what she loves to do best. Planning, plotting every second of her life …not that there is any thing wrong with that. But it’s not me. So I’ve taken the back seat and tried my damnedest to avoid any confrontations. Thinking that by doing so, life w/ “her” will be better and we’ll all get along. That approach, I can deduct, is not working and as I said…I’m out of words. I can’t win by saying what I feel and I can’t win by staying quiet and backing away. 

Back to the call. Two days later, I felt it was the right thing to do and I picked up the phone and I made the call. Several time throughout the day I would think “ok, just do it you wimp” and I would head aching, heart racing…put my cell phone down.

I finally found my balls and made the call and now will wait.

And by the way, on Mother’s day after her nice message…my dad called: “did she call you?”. Thanks dad! You peacemaker you.  Well, it didn’t work. And forced calls are kind of dumb I think.

It just gets weirder… May 16, 2008

I swear…I have no life…I never go out (well, besides trips to the grocery store, Target, lunches out w/my husband and kids and a very very very rare girls night out -last one was maybe a year ago). And still, I meet the most interesting people.

My dear dad has a speech impediment. He is a cancer survivor (twice!)and some say, should not be alive. I think I mentioned he’s Sicilian. And boy is he a stubborn Sicilian! He will repeat something 100 times until you get what he is saying and I do get it but not everyone gets it. So occassionally I get a phone call: “I needa you to maka me an importanta phona call…can you do ita now?”

So I make the important phone call. I was to explain to this guy today around 2PM how to get to this place to meet my dad. First, when he answered the phone, I thought he was like 99 (everyone in Florida is like 99). He answered…I said hello…pause. Finally, I heard the very strange, drawn out like either he’s 99, very stoned, or also has a speech impediment like my dad…so I was being patient. He finally got who I was and started talking…verrrrryy slowly. With lots of pauses and I finally got it. He was very young and VERY stoned (he told me he’s 26). I’m thinking possibly crack or heroine…or both…he was very out of his mind. So we finally get through the small talk (about 10 minutes and lots of pauses where I kept thinking my call got dropped and then, there he was w/his funny, high (drug high, not pitch high)voice. So we make the appt. time for him to meet my dad: 4:30. And I had of course, lots of doubts but this little voice in my head kept saying…”don’t judge, he could be handicapped.” And I ask him, “so you’re thinking 4:30 for sure you’ll be there? my dad will be there…he’ll be there even before just let me know if you can’t go b/c he’s very punctual and precise.”

He responds :”I’m not thinking I’ll be there, I’ll be there!”, full of cocky, I’m back to thinking stoned confidence. Ok, I knew he wasn’t going to show and warned my dad that he was a piece of work. OH! The funniest part of the story, high guy says: ”I’m going to take a shower and get ready to go now b/c I have to walk there (it was 2:20PM)and it’s going to take me a while” (it should’ve taken oh about, 20 minutes and there are bus lines b/c the road he was going to walk on is very busy road). Well, I gave him credit…he was giving himself 2 hours to get there. Maybe he wasn’t so bad?

6:30 PM my phone rings: “Call himma please and finda out if he’sa comin or not b/c I wonna wait any more”…my dad, he waited and this lame-ass tells me when I call “My girlfriend got a flat tire and now I have to walk there and I’m leaving now”…so maybe he would’ve gotten there right when my dad was in his nightcoat  about to watch Jay Leno? I cancelled him and broke the news to my dad who doesn’t lose his temper any more since he’s not been feeling the best so it wasn’t too bad of a call. But I bet he was pissed.

 

Does liking Lavender make you gay? May 14, 2008

I have a neighbor across the street and he is an old Southern gentleman. Was married and had a very large family. His wife of many, many years (I can’t remember the exact amount but it was a LONG time!)passed away unfortunately from a weak heart during one of our hideous hurricanes a few years ago when we were out of power for days.  Old Fred painted his house while she was still alive a lovely lavender color. I suspect he may have chosen that particular color to please his dear love.
I went to visit Fred tonight with some food. A few of us neighbors have kept Fred in our extra food loop.

This week he’s having his house repainted…the lavender will be no longer. And he told me a funny story. He was having some drinks at a get together at another neighbor’s house and The Lavender House was brought up and how the owner must be gay. The person that mentioned that did not know it was dear old Fred that owns The Lavender House. He said, “Can you believe that?”, very calmy. Then he continued, “I finished my drink, got up, and walked out the door.” And that was that. I told him jokingly , ” You know Fred, I’ve had my suspicions of you and The Lavender House.” He didn’t laugh.  Or maybe he didn’t hear my stupid attempt at a joke b/c Fred is too proud to have a hearing aid. He did hear me say we’ll miss The Lavender House.

But the new pale green color looks like it may have also been  chosen with the Missus in mind.